Even going back to the seven months I worked with Charles, I have always been hesitant to initiate relationships at the health club, mostly because I don't want to be "that guy." (lol.) Maybe I'm making it more than it has to be, but it seems a little weird for a 31-year old married father of 3 to attempt to strike up health club conversations with women, and most men have that "leave me alone" look and vibe going, because they are concentrating on lifting weights or running. However, through the common ground of racquetball, these relationship are a fun and emerging expression of God breaking into the health club. Maybe racquetball is a missional sport: "No one should play racquetball alone." (Sorry...that was a Mission Alive joke.)
Anyway, yesterday during a break between cut-throat games, a friend of mine mentioned that she grew up playing golf for the national team of her South American country of origin. She remarked at how pressure-filled and performance-driven those days were, and how calming and fun it is to laugh and compete at racquetball without the unbearable stress of her golf days.
I took this as an opportunity to ask her about her upbringing, so I responded with: "What were the main religious influences around you growing up?" She mentioned that her South American country was primarily Catholic with a minor Jewish influence as well. In a couple sentences, she shared how she was turned off from the religious influences of her childhood because they were boring, difficult to understand, and made no impact on her life. Instead, she stated that she has decided that God is God and there is only one God, (I'm not sure what she meant by that.) and because of that, it doesn't matter where she or anyone else went to church. As long as her kids had fun, it was fine with her. At this point, I haven't invited her or even talked to her about Christ Journey, so I'm guessing her comments were a reaction to the prominent church of her childhood and her desire to participate in a faith community of her own choosing.
I enjoy my growing relationships at Huguley, because my friends are teaching me much almost every single day. In our Bible belt suburban context where we might just be a little "over-churched," I have found the "church doesn't matter" perspective before, and I'm wondering if you have too.
My questions for you are below. Please chime in with comments on either or all of them.
1) What next steps should I pursue in this particular conversation and friendship?
2) Do you have any reactions to the "church doesn't matter" perspective?
3) How have the religious influences of your youth impacted your adult faith?
4) In terms of church participation, what sacrifices are you making for your children?
4 contributions:
Hey Chris! Thanks for the post. I hope to impose on one or two of your games once we finally get moved in.
I wanted to comment about the "usefulness" - or lack thereof - of the Church. Your friend's answer points to why people don't think it matters if they "go to" Church, and that's because the Church has never mattered in their life or their community. Boring and hard to understand are simple enough obstacles to overcome, but you can go about fixing that stuff all day long and people will still not find meaning in the Church. I think you're right about the oversaturation of the church in our culture having an impact on this discussion - people see churches on every corner doing nothing but opening their doors on Sundays and Wednesdays and having no noticeable impact on the injustices in the community.
Another point: a major obstacle a lot of us have in talking to people like your friend is that we can't articulate (or even simpler, haven't thought about) how Christ has impacted our lives, so we don't know how to show that to others. I suppose the appropriate thing to do would be to share your story of what IMPACT Christ and His Church have had on you.
Robert - I appreciate your willingness to jump into this post. Hopefully there'll be others to join us.
I am continually surprised by just how ingrained church as place and/or service is in the southwest corner of the DFW Metroplex. Even well meaning folks who know and have experienced church as community of people on a journey still talk about "going to church."
Some of the responses to this are interesting. It seems we either accept church as place, and therefore do the church thing, and move on with life expecting and accepting it as irrelevant, or we reject church as place with the primary reason of irrelevance all because we have never seen in someone else or a group of someoneelses, or we have never experienced ourselves the impact of Christ in our lives that you mentioned.
Thanks for the suggestion, and perhaps the Lord will give me an opportunity to share such things with our Huguley racquetball community.
Chris-
With such thoughtful & organized questions, I'm feel like I should respond.
1. Your next step would be to mention that you've got a buddy that loves to play golf and a wife who needs to learn, providing a perfect opportunity for a golf outing and a lesson or two for a certain someone that wouldn't have the patience to be taught by her husband.
2. My reaction to the "Church doesn't matter" perspective would be that a majority of people cannot be expected to think otherwise. The "Church" that has been presented to them, or as they have come to know it, doesn't matter. Maybe the problem is that many people just don't know what "Church" is in terms of being an extension of Christ to the world. A Church that seeks to be the hands & feet of Christ as it is called, will overturn that perspective by just being itself.
3. I'd say that the influences of my youth, led me to the perception mentioned in #2. So as far as my comments on the Church above, I feel that I speak from experience in a way.
4. I see how you are. Ouch! This is where I often drop the ball. I could do much more to show my boys what the Church actually is, giving them a head start in that area that I and so many others often don't get.
Anyway, there's my two cents. Nighty-Night!
Thanks Steve! Your #2 reminds me of this. You would really enjoy it.
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